Copyright © 2025
Chantelle Henderson
I can check all of the above.
While I haven’t been in a season of experiencing these things in a while, I know them all too well. Due to the ongoing interactions with others in various settings such as - work, ministry, with church brothers and sisters, family, friendships, non-familial relationships, and even in interactions with strangers, I KNOW I will need reminding in the future. I’m writing all this to myself too; not just you.
At the bottom of this entry, you will find various scripture passages I meditated heavily on today. I want you to be strengthened and centered by the truth of God’s word. I am giving you the only proven, sure, solid way that tells us how to walk like He walks, and talk like He talks while not fearing the opinion of man.
Pastor Randy said something on Sunday that bears repeating, “You won’t ever know who you are until you know whose you are.” Your true, authentic identity can ONLY be found in Him. (Psalm 139)
You are His beloved son and daughter. You are chosen. You were created on purpose, for a purpose. And until you know this, you will struggle with insecurity, rejection, fear of abandonment, being made to feel small through the thoughts, words, and actions of others. You will get distracted to the point of caring more about what they think, than about what He thinks…..What he KNOWS. Time will present you with one opportunity after another to get in your head to the point of self loathing and self-destructive behaviors.
Our Heavenly Father is well acquainted with that other person’s story. He knows details that I don’t know, the battles they’ve fought that I’m not privy to, and the details of what makes them act the way they do. For that reason alone, we should not pass judgment on another person. (Romans 2)
We were never created to be pulled away from God and as a result, become so involved with self that we live preoccupied lives in the prison of another person’s views and notions of us. Here’s a fact: We cannot live the life He designed us to live, fulfill the call He’s placed on our lives, and walk in the fullness of all that He wants for us if our intentions and affections are on man. No one can serve two masters. It’s either one or the other. It’s impossible for it to be both. (Matthew 6)
Jesus was perfect and yet he was rejected, mocked, betrayed, judged, and ultimately died a criminal’s death on the cross - the worst occurrence. For you and for me. How much more then, are we to expect the same?
Time for a reality check.
I’m about to rip off the bandaid so get ready. Here we go. 1…2…3 RIP!
People will gossip, talk about you behind your back, start rumors, abandon you, betray you, count you out, lie on you, form opinions of you that aren’t accurate, and purposefully leave you out. They do it in the world and they do it in the body of Christ.
The lies, misrepresentations, and mendacities we believe about ourselves are no respecter of persons. The only way to be set free from the pain and defeat of feeling like you’ll never measure up and keep you from being uniquely you, is through scripture. That’s why we must read, meditate, and retain the truth of God’s word.
He told us that these things will happen to us, and when they do, He instructs us to REJOICE.
What in the world…..!!! Maybe it’s just me, but more often than not, the last thing I want to do when the cares of this world try to penetrate my soul and rob me of eternity, is to rejoice. That’s just not my usual, natural response. No! I want to cry, punch pillows, express my anger, tell my side of the story, and lay in bed and binge watch highly acclaimed documentaries. That is a sure sign that my eyes are on what is temporary.
People say the older they get the less they care. I used to say it myself. All the time. Even now, if I’m in a “mood” and am in need of an attitude adjustment, I will say it, knowing full well that it’s not true. Nowadays, I have a slightly different perspective. I’ve learned to say the older I get, the more mature I become in Christ, and the better equipped I am to handle conflict resolution, in a way that’s pleasing to Him - in a way that glorifies and honors Him. I promise you, I’ll mess it up if I try to fix it. In fact, when I attempt to, that’s about the time that I wish I’d kept my mouth shut and had not engaged in any form of negativity.
It’s no longer (nor was it ever) all about me. All of it has always been about Him and what He wanted to do in me and through me to make Him known. I am more into trusting His timing and sovereignty when relationships and friendships go sideways. I get it now; God is God and I am not!
Don’t let the world - the people in it, your hardships and trials, and our hangups, steal your joy. The word says, “Today is the day the Lord has made, LET us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24). That word, “let”, tells me that I can stand firm in His promised joy.
Friends, we have a choice to make. Either we choose joy or we choose the unnecessary process of what happens when we don’t align ourselves with the water of the word.
Trust me. We pay a much higher price than we would have if we choose the despondency of misery or if we immerse ourselves in the camp of the enemy. His kingdom is filled with lies, condemnation, anger, resentment, unforgiveness, and bitterness. These are all the opposite of Joy. JOY, REAL JOY - the only one that is everlasting, is the joy the Lord gives us. It can’t be found and gained outside of him. As the gospel, great Shirley Ceasar sang, “This joy I have, the world didn't give it to me, and the world can't take it away”.
When we fall out or disagree with someone; when we are tested in the waters of relationships, Jesus beckons us to walk on water in the storms of the building up or tearing down of ours so we can solely focus on Him. But (there’s that pesky “but” word), as soon as I am hurt or offended, I choose to look away from Him and turn my attention to the person I felt wronged by. When I get to this point, my eyes immediately shift to the raging seas of conflict, misunderstandings, and heartbreak because of something someone did or said to me, or quite frankly, what I did or said to someone that caused them heartbreak. Taking my eyes off Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith, results in me drowning and flailing about 100% of the time. It’s only when I keep my eyes fixed on Him instead of the chaos of circumstances, that I can grab His hands and be filled with joy. When I do that, I find that I am more than capable of rejoicing as I walk on the water; I awaken to the fullness of His ability to rescue me, AND the other person. He is aware of every detail and is well-able to bring restoration and wholeness where it’s needed. That is where I will find stillness instead of storm-tossed waves. He’s the only One who is able to keep me from being overtaken by the surge of relationship challenges and adversity. He will take care of them, and me both. I can rest in my all sufficient Savior.
Never, ever, believe the falsities that others tell about you, nor bend your will to meet their judgment.
The following scriptures will take you right to the heart of the matter, which is that He and He alone gives your life meaning.
The Psalmist who wrote Psalm 119:37 says, “Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word.” The writer knew that nothing was good apart from God - that the things of the world are temporary and fleeting. He fully understood that everything not of God’s kingdom is worthless and fleeting, and only He was the ETERNAL, EVERLASTING WAY, TRUTH, and LIFE. (John 14)
If you have a personal relationship with Christ, saturate yourself in prayer and scripture until you break free from the chokehold of entertaining and then attempting to become what those around you may be expecting of you.
If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, I’ll be overjoyed to tell you how to have one. Just comment below or DM me. (John 3)
Proverbs 29:25
"The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that."
Galatians 1:10
“Am I now trying to win the favor and approval of men, or of God? Or am I seeking to please someone? If I were still trying to be popular with men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ."
Colossians 3:23
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men."
1 Thessalonians 2:4
"But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts."
2 Timothy 3:14-17
“But as for you, continue in the things that you have learned and of which you are convinced [holding tightly to the truths], knowing from whom you learned them, and how from childhood you have known the sacred writings (Hebrew Scriptures) which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus [surrendering your entire self to Him and having absolute confidence in His wisdom, power and goodness]. All Scripture is God-breathed [given by divine inspiration] and is profitable for instruction, for conviction [of sin], for correction [of error and restoration to obedience], for training in righteousness [learning to live in conformity to God’s will, both publicly and privately—behaving honorably with personal integrity and moral courage]; so that the man of God may be complete and proficient, outfitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
Matthew 7:12, 24-27
“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets. “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”
Hebrews 4:12-13
“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”
John 3:16-19, 21
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. “There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son. And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.”
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